The psychological effects of parents being abandoned by their adult children can be extremely distressing. Sherrie Macgregor has developed a helpful online platform, Donewiththecrying.com, to offer aid and provisions to those struggling with the intricacies of estrangement. This web platform provides assistance, accounts of personal
experiences, and a network for parents and grandparents facing similar situations.
It is estimated that 25% of adult children are estranged from their fathers and 6% estranged from their mothers. The love a parent has for their child makes dealing with this separation incredibly difficult. Estrangement means that parents must mourn the loss of their child, and it is still very much a grief process even though the child is still
living.
Healing from estrangement will likely be a long process. In addition to taking advantage of resources like the ones offered by Sherrie Macgregor, there are some steps estranged parents can take to help them cope with the loss of their relationship.
Embrace the Grieving Process
Allowing yourself to go through the stages of grief is a healthy, cathartic measure to start healing. This doesn't mean you will not feel any sadness, so it's important that you have realistic expectations of what grieving will accomplish. Processing your emotions and facing what you're feeling can help you to better understand, control, and move on from the pain of estrangement.
Foster a Healthy Relationship with Yourself
Don't focus too much on regrets or mistakes from the past. Instead, show yourself compassion and forgiveness. Be gentle with yourself as you work to recover and build a new life after this loss. Building a healthy relationship with yourself also includes self-care habits like connecting with friends, spending time doing things you enjoy, staying physically active, and eating a healthy diet.
Accept Your Current Reality
While it may seem impossible to embrace a life without a lawyer for will relationship attorney for law with your child, making an effort to embrace your new reality can be freeing. While it may not be how you imagined your life or what you consider to be ideal, it is possible to find contentment after losing a parent-child relationship. If you can accept your situation for what it is, you can start to heal and move forward toward renewed happiness.
Be Open but Don't Push
Part of accepting your current situation can also include being open to change in the future. It's perfectly okay to sit back and let your child decide for themselves when and if they want to rekindle your relationship. Being open to this possibility ensures that the door is never shut should the law offices of they decide to walk through it, but you also don't want to push too hard and drive the wedge deeper.
While a lot of focus is placed on the parent-child aspect, the effects of estrangement are not limited to one family member. These fractures find their way into all the branches of a family tree, with grandchild-grandparent relationships being one of the most difficult to bear. As a community, we must acknowledge and address the emotional distress that exists within these broken family structures.
Even as you grieve your loss and try to accept your current situation, you may ask yourself what options you have for building or maintaining a relationship with your grandchildren. Being afraid of making the wrong choice can create legal paralysis for many grandparents. Is your child guilty of emotional abuse for prohibiting your contact with your grandchildren? Do you have any legal recourse for this behavior? What are your visitation rights as a grandparent? Having answers to these questions can help you make an informed decision about the possibility of taking legal action for the sake of your relationship with your grandchildren.
Susan Wasserman is an Attorney in the State of Ohio.
Wassermanlawoffices.com